1. Buy a slow-cooker and a whole duck

2. Tear apart duck

4. Put duck and 1.5 quarts water in slow-cooker

5. Set slow-cooker to 6 hours

We supplement the dog’s kibble with shredded duck (she seems to have a bad reaction to chicken) so I hit on this as the laziest way to prepare it.  It turns out that the (essentially leftover) cooking water is far and away the best “chicken” stock I’ve ever made, and I’ve made some pretty elaborate recipes.  If I happen to have random vegetables like carrots and celery around I’ll throw them in, but it really doesn’t matter.

You can strain or clarify it if you like (I don’t bother), but de-fatting it is trivial: just freeze it and scoop off the solid fat later. I have completely given up buying prepared stock now.

This year’s haul:

• Basil (sweet, purple, Thai)
• Thyme (common)
• Oregano (Greek, hot)
• Lettuce (Romaine, two curly varieties)
• Mint
• Cilantro
• 2 tomatoes (Sunbrite)
• Lavender
• Rosemary
• Variegated sage

The lettuce was started back in April and won’t last much longer (I already pulled some of it to make room for basil). I’m not sure what I’ll do with the remaining space — maybe some late-season strawberries?

1 lb veal
2 tbs shortening
1.5 cups sliced celery
2 small onions
1 can condensed cream of mushroom soup
1 can condensed cream of chicken soup
2 tbs soy sauce
.25 cups uncooked rice

Hot Dog Casserole

Potato Buds ®
.25 cups sweet pickle relish
2 tbs salad dressing
1 tbs instant minced onion
2 tsp mustard
4-6 frankfurters (sliced in half and inserted into the casserole dish upright)

Cereal Topping for Vegetables

Enhance vegetables with a buttery, crisp topping. A delightful disguise for warmed-overs.

1 half cup Cheerios ®, Kix ® or Wheaties ®
1 tablespoon butter
salt

Stir and sprinkle over creamed vegetables

Franko Corn Thins

2 eggs
3/4 cups milk
1 package Betty Crocker Corn Muffin Mix ®
Parmesan cheese
5 frankfurters
1 teaspoon celery seed
1/4 teaspoon garlic salt
salt

Cheese Pennies

1 jar Pasteurized Processed Sharp American Cheese Spread ®
1/4 cup shortening
3/4 cup Gold Medal ® flour

Other recipes omitted:

Olive Cheese Balls
Spicy English Muffins
Cereal Funny Faces
Sassy Sausages
Nippy Shrimp
Polynesian Ham Loaf
Tomato Bursts

When I make dinner for Dan’s birthday, it’s ma po tofu, adapted from Land of Plenty by Fuschia Dunlop.

My birthday was more recently. Dan made pastitsio, from Cook’s Illustrated Best 30 Minute Recipe.

Recipes follow:

Ma po tofu

Ingredients

1. 1 lb tofu
2. 4 baby leeks or 2 leeks or 1 leek plus 1 bunch scallions
3. 1/2 cup peanut oil
4. 6 oz ground beef or ground pork or 6-8 shiitake mushrooms + 2 sliced garlic cloves
5. 2 1/2 tbs chile bean paste (toban djan)
6. 1 tbs fermented black beans
7. 1 cup chicken stock, or vegetable stock, or water
8. 1 tsp white sugar
9. 2 tsp light soy sauce
10. 2-3 tbs arrowroot or 4-6 tbs cornstarch
11. 1/2 tsp ground roasted Sichuan peppercorns

Directions

1. Cut tofu into 1-inch cubes and steep in salted hot water.
2. Cut leeks into long “horse ear” slices (or roughly chop scallions)
3. Add peanut oil to wok over high heat and stir-fry meat or mushrooms, adding garlic at the end
4. Turn the heat down to medium and add the chile bean paste, stir-frying for 30 seconds, then add fermented black beans and stir-fry for another 30 seconds.
5. Pour in stock and add tofu. Mix it gently to avoid breaking the tofu. Season with sugar, soy sauce and a little salt. Simmer for 5 minutes or more.
6. Add leeks or scallions and stir in until just cooked. Turn heat to low and add arrowroot until sauce has thickened. Serve with scattered peppercorns at the table, over rice.

Skillet pastitsio

Ingredients

1. 1 lb ground lamb
2. 1 onion, minced
3. .25 tsp groun cinammon
4. 2 tbs tomato paste
5. 6 garlic cloves, minced
6. 2 tsp minced fresh oregano
7. 3 cups chicken broth
8. 1 cup heavy cream
9. 8 ounces elbow macaroni
10. .5 tsp arrowroot or 1 tsp cornstarch
11. 1 cup grated Parmesan cheese

Directions

1. Adjust oven rack to middle position and heat to 475 degrees
2. Cook lamb in 12-inch skillet over medium heat, 3 – 5 minutes. Drain, reserving 1 tbs of fat
3. Add tbs of fat to skillet and add onion, cinnamon and .25 tsp salt once hot. Cook until softened, about 5 minutes. Stir in tomato paste, garlic, oregano and cook 30 seconds
4. Stir in broth, .5 cup of cream, macaroni and lamb. Increase heat to high and cook until pasta is tender, 8-10 minutes
5. Whisk remaining .5 cup of cream and arrowroot/cornstarch, then stir into skillet. Simmer 1 minute until thickened
6. Off heat stir in .5 cup Parmesan and salt & pepper to taste. Sprinkle remaining cheese on top. Bake until lightly browned, 5 minutes.

• Foie gras, extruded into a squared-off tube, and tied, somehow, in a knot
• Deconstructed French onion soup
• Deconstructed eggs Benedict (the egg yolk sous vide, the hollandaise sauce separated, breaded, and deep-fried)
• “Pizza pebbles”

I was disappointed that “pretzel consomme” and “popcorn soup” were only available a la carte.

The metal will conduct the heat quickly away from the cup and into the ice water bath. You should go from scorching hot coffee to cold iced coffee in under 30 seconds, with minimal melting of the interior ice cubes.

If you take your iced coffee with milk or cream, try soy milk instead, even if you aren’t vegan. Trust me.

Normally I am a slob, but sometimes when I start cleaning things get a little out of control and I lose all sense of proportion. For example, in the kitchen: I did not just clean all the visible surfaces. I also got on a chair and cleaned the most inaccessible of the cabinets, as if our house guest was going to show up, nod appreciatively, and then immediately begin inspecting our pantry. Actually, this particular house guest may do just that.

Anyway, I threw out anything that satisfied one or more of the following conditions:

1. Had moved with us from our previous house two years ago
2. Was in a plastic bag
3. Was unidentifiable

Curiously, almost everything I tossed looked about the same. I am pretty sure the set of six things included at least:

1. Textured vegetable protein
2. Panko bread crumbs
3. Dried coconut
4. Rolled oats
5. Different bag of textured vegetable protein

Several months ago I threw out a whole container of textured vegetable protein because it was contaminated with pantry moths. The thing is, I can remember purchasing TVP only once, and for one use (veggie chili). I like it in veggie chili but not so much that I would keep buying it. I am starting to suspect it can undergo mitosis, and then gather itself snugly into little plastic bags.

The story about how I became obsessed with acquiring Pimm’s is extremely boring so I won’t reproduce it here. It is enough to say that the moment this afternoon when I retrieved a case of Tremont Ale, stood on it, and reached up onto a high, neglected shelf at The Wine and Cheese Cask to retrieve my dusty prize was a highlight of the week.

The Pimm’s cocktail, as we interpreted it:

• 1 highball glass, half-filled with ice
• 2.5 oz Pimm’s No. 1
• .5oz Drambuie
• Juice of 1/2 lime
• Club soda
• Sprig of mint

Minty mojito: