Trendy was sunning himself on the windowsill when a strange object in front of him caught his attention. He tilted his head to look more closely at it and then gently licked it. He paused and licked it again. The object leapt up into the air and smacked him in the eye. It was his own tail.
I chained my bicycle in front of a crowded bar with an open patio and then went shopping at Trader Joe’s. I came out with over thirty pounds of groceries which I crammed into my courier bag and two panniers. I felt pretty good about myself, ready to bear a week’s worth of organic provisions under my own power. When I unlocked the bike from its post, the rear instantly fell over, jamming the greasy chainring into my shin — the whole bicycle having been overweighted with self-righteousness and soy.